Re: On the Subject of Close Friendships

I jotted down some impressions based on Caroline Myss' notes from her Facebook page titled On the Subject of Close Friendships. Perhaps you can find that note here: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=118428954859&ref=nf So be warned, these are rough and consequently unpolished thoughts offered in consideration Myss' words as well as in light of my own circumstances.

We will all in our lives trespass against others. And then, after some time they forgive you or risk the ruination of the friendship. But the offer of forgiveness is contingent on recognizing that stepping/crossing other's boundaries, no matter how clearly marked, is an existing condition of living life among people.

Sometimes trespasses are committed carelessly, deliberately, innocently and/or maliciously. How often I have said or done something offhand, seemingly small only to find out that for someone else, it was BIG.

Sometimes it's best to hang back or hold off in the aftermath and give them space to reconsider their boundaries or themselves. Sometimes there is nothing to be done. Perhaps what will unfold is beyond our ability to affect beyond the original trespass.

As long as we are alive, we will trespass. We may take a seemingly pleasant hike into the hills of a new country, only to find, miles from any help, that you have crossed over into hostile territory, as what has happened recently in Iraq and Iran.

What is true is that those we hold most dear to ourselves also hold the ability to wound us most deeply. And all that we can ask when we trespass, all that we can hope for, perhaps, is forgiveness.